Monday, November 01, 2004

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When in "Misery," Eat a "Tootsie" Roll!
Halloween has come and gone yet again, and the city lies in ruins from the Halloween tricks. These past Halloweens were all interesting in their own right.

Two years ago Kyle dressed as Sherlock Holmes, and I dressed as his faithful companion Watson. It's funny that when I dress up as anyone foreign I always end up playing second fiddle; think Indiana Schwartz and Juan Carlos. Not that I mind in the least. The second runner up in films is always the comical one, the one that people want to invite to the parties. It's like frosted shredded wheat. In that scenario I'm not the drab wheat side, I'm the fun side that will give you diabetes!

That year, Kyle and I dressed in those wonderful costumes and went trick-or-treating in Porter Ranch. I unfortunately showed up at the coat tails of this adventure, and by the time I got there the treating houses were out of business. The few houses left made some comment about us being too old and offered us beer instead of candy. Holy crap! Great Idea #1: Beer flavored candy!

The following year I went to a frat party at UCLA with Kyle and his friends. I was dressed in a bowler hat, which I look oddly good in. One thing everyone says is I look great in hats. I don't know why, I just have a fantastic hat head. Bowlers, sombreros, beenies, they all look good on me. Kyle was in his old ROTC uniform from his high school days. People, let me tell you, if you want to attract the ladies on Halloween just wear some sort of uniform. They all came flocking to Kyle like pennies to UNICEF. Leeja was supposed to be a pirate of some sort, but she was more like a sluty pirate. No, she wasn't a wench. She was like that girl pirate that wants to be a pirate, but the other pirates won't let her play. So she sluts it up and they let her into the gang on only those merits. In the gang was also a cat (can we say DONE BEFORE) and I think the other ones were pirates to. To be honest, the costumes weren't very memorable.

This year I didn't want to really do anything. Trick-or-treating would have just been sad, I wasn't in a partying mood, and going to West Hollywood for that blow out seemed like such a chore. So instead I did the next best thing. I invited Amanda, Kyle, and Jennifer to watch some scary movies.

I spent the entire day with Jennifer and Amanda going to El Torito, feeding the ducks, showing them my new house, driving to the top of a hill to look at the view, going grocery shopping; you know the usual.

When it got darker I put out all of the snacks. We had spooky salt and vinegar chips which no one ate, gooey home made guacaholymoley which was a big smash, scary salsa which vanished into thin air, terrifying tortilla chips, batty baked lays, mystical mallomars which were a so-so hit, 3 kinds of sadistic soda, pus filled popcorn, and witchy waffer cookies. It was a satanic amount of food!

I put on the movie "Misery," starring Kathy Bates in her well deserved spine tingling Oscar winning performance. Jennifer jumped 3 times in the last 30 minutes of the movie which made me ever so happy. When the movie was over it was 7:00, and we decided to wait for Kyle since he was bringing Poltergeist and Rosy at 8. We ended up watching 1 episode of South Park and 1 episode of Seinfeld.

In that span of an hour is when all the trick or treaters that showed up. My highlight was two 16 year olds. One said he was a baseball player, the other was dressed as a woman. Might I add, the most ugliest woman I have ever seen. In question of what he was supposed to be, he said "I'm a hoe!" So there you have it.

When Kyle showed up I took Poltergeist and popped it into the dvd player. What what?!? Wait a minute...this isn't Poltergeist! It's Tootsie! That's right, Kyle brought "Tootsie" on accident in the "Poltergeist" box. So, we actually ended up watching "Tootsie." The last thing I thought I would be doing on my Halloween would be watching "Tootsie." But I did, and actually it ended up being fine. Not only is it a good movie but I have a funny story to tell every Halloween.

After the movie everyone left, and I felt wholly satisfied with my Halloween Night.