Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Guns and A Six Pack
I had a rather long conversation with my good friend Amanda today and we were talking about goals, mostly of which had to do with weight loss. I've probably lost between 30 and 40 lbs. since my jaw surgery of August 03. Since then I started working out. I did the gym at first two days a week, and then after a bit I did three, finally I worked up to 4, and then I even did the occasional 5. That is a lot for someone who didn't want to go to the gym to begin with and whose level of activity was pressing the channel button on the remote. My friend Amanda has lost over 40 lbs. since the beginning of summer, and you should see the confidence boost she's had. So kudos Amanda, great job! So goals, what are my goals?

With the weight loss stuff, I do want to continue to loose weight. Right now I have about 30 lbs. I'd like to shed. People who I tell this to always give me that look and the "but why, you're not overweight?" I've even been met with the comment of, "stop loosing weight, your wasting away." C'mon people, stop the bullshit. Have you looked at me lately? True, I am much better off then I was a year ago, but I could still stand to loose something more then vanity pounds. I don't like those comments that I'm a rail, because I'm not. When I hear that it just bothers me because either the person is blind or is lying to me because they want to be a nice person. There are the people who really honestly think I look fine, but the thing is I could look better. These comments don't really bother me when they come from people like Amanda. I know Amanda, and she is one of those see the good in people overlook the bad. So I respect what she says and take it to heart. But other people, they just piss me off. It is hard for me to believe that most people are Amanda, because let's be honest, that isn't the world.

The other people who bother the hell out of me are the skinny people who need reassurance that they are skinnier then you. It's like my sister Lauren asks me EVERY day "do I look fat in this?" I say no, so she turns sideways "right here" patting her stomach. I say yet again, "No Lauren, you do not look fat. Do you actually think I'd let you walk out of here looking like a total slob?" Then she says "are you sure?" What the hell, were you not listening to what I just told you? Once in a while she will be wearing something that might make her look wide or something, so I'll tell her honestly. Then of course I get the nasty look. Hey Lauren, you asked me.

There are many reasons why I chose to loose weight, some understandable and some just laughable. Health of course is an issue. I don't want to be 45 years old and have to get a triple bypass. Vanity is also an issue, because in our society the pretty people rise to the top. Then here comes the reasons that you can go ahead and chuckle at.

Abercrombie and Fitch...the store. This place is like a model runway. Kyle and I are always discussing this place and how uncomfortable we feel in it. It is the only store that I go into where I feel like I'm not good enough for it and the sales people are judging me or sizing me up. It's funny because I don't actually want anything from here, but it feels like a bridge to the beautiful people. So part of the loosing weight thing was so I could actually go into this place with my head held high and my trim, muscular physique showing through. 6 months ago, no way would you have seen me here. The furthest I ever went in was halfway, but when I got to the center I ran for the exit. It was like I was drowning and I needed to resurface and get some air. Nowadays I can go in here with a tad more confidence and make it 3 quarters of the way in, so I'm almost there!

Then the next reason for the weight loss only really became prevalent this past summer, water parks. There are two types of people that go here. The people who want to show off their body and the people who don't care about their body. But the people who usually don't care about their body are the large ladies in the bikinis, so we don't really want to see that. That's sad, but it's oh so true. So I would like to be able to go to a water park and just have fun and not be conscientious about what other people are thinking. I'm almost there; just give me until next summer.

So that's my weight thing. I'm still going, but I should reach my goal by the end of the year god willing. I'll see like a hot girl spill her drink at the mall and be like "hey, I'll clean that up for ya," and pull off my shirt so that I can use it as a towel revealing my 6-pack. I'll also be making lots of references to my muscles and skinniness. I can actually go "I should be illegal, because with this 6 pack (pointing to stomach) and these guns (pointing to biceps) I'm a whole lotta trouble" and not get laughed at.