Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Going to Space on a Pogo Stick?
When I saw Razor scooters back in 2000, I was not surprised to see that someone had decided to modernize an old classic. What did surprise me was that they rolled into the world at such a fast incline, and just about everyone was riding them. People were actually spending a couple hundred dollars on something that had existed for the past 50 years.

Did people have some sort of brain fart? Does no one remember that scooters had been around for a really long time before the Razor? It was like people had never seen a scooter before and this thing rolling around was some new fangled invention? Really the only difference between then and now is that the newer versions were metal and smaller, but that was about it. But people were still picking up these scooters as status symbols, putting light up wheels on them so drivers could see them riding their scooter around in the middle of the night. Oh no, it wasn't for safety reasons, it was so the drivers would see the scooter and think the person was "chique."

Now I come to the real reason behind this post. When I first saw Razor scooters I remember saying, "what's next, a pogo stick that shoots you 50 ft. in the air?" I said this as a joke, thinking what a ludicrous idea that would be. But today I discovered that my jokingly said idea is becoming a reality. The "Flybar" will be hitting shelves this month, and many deaths will come along with it I predict. This pogo stick can launch a 200-pound rider nearly six feet in the air. My only question is what happens to the person when they come back down? It claims that the 18-pound aluminum rig comes with grippy foot pegs to help you nail your landings. But is it really that simple to land when you’re coming down from six feet? I recall jumping on a pogo stick and maybe getting a foot and a half off the ground. That return to earth was difficult enough, but to having you come launching down from 6 ft. or more is mortifying. I imagine people hitting ground and then flying off at some crazy angle into the street.

The whole idea behind the pogo stick was that you had some control. You're close enough to the ground where you can determine where you will land without injuring yourself. What happens with those 150 or even less pound people? They'll take off into space and never be heard of again.I dunno what will happen next in this crazy world of ours. The only thing I can think of that can't be improved on any more on is the hula-hoop, but who knows. Maybe next year you'll be seeing a metal hoop that can spin around you up to 88 mph sending you back in time. You heard it here first; I came up with the Time Hoop!

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Look at this, he's about to bounce into a construction site. What fun!